My Father's Day Talk

A few years ago, my husband, Rob went with my dad, and a large group of people to hike the Grand Canyon.  They spent an entire day hiking the 23 miles from the South Rim to the North Rim.  Then they rested one day and turned around and did it again in the opposite direction.   Rob loved the experience of hiking the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim to Rim and has talked a lot about having our family do something like this when the kids get older and stronger.

This weekend we had to go pick up Price from EFY at NAU and so decided to leave a couple days early and take our four girls on a trip up to Flagstaff and from there to see the Grand Canyon.  I was talking to the girls about what we were going to do and they couldn’t understand why we would want to drive so far just to see the Grand Canyon. I tried explaining to them that people from all over the world come to Arizona to see this thing that is only 4 to 5 hours drive away from us.  In fact because of all the complaining we almost changed our plans to go see Walnut Canyon, a neat yet much smaller canyon that is, as far as I know, not world renowned but a lot closer to Flagstaff. 

With some urging from Rob we decided that we would in fact skip Walnut Canyon and go see the Grand Canyon.  The Grand Canyon was truly breathtaking and almost mind boggling to look out at such a wide expanse of a canyon that stretched as far and sunk deeper than the eye can see from one point.  We spent some time hiking along the edge of the South Rim, taking pictures and looking in the shops and out at the view.  All the time Rob was describing what it was like to hike from the South Rim to the North Rim.  He pointed out distant buildings and trails that he had been near but were barely visible from our current location.  We saw and heard people from all over the world that had come to look at the Grandest Canyon on Earth.  One thing he said was, that from this point of view we were only getting maybe 1% of the beauty the canyon has to offer.  It made me and the girls want to experience all that was there.    

As we were walking around the Grand Canyon Village I was at the back of our small group and noticed Lane.  She was trying to walk along holding hands with her dad, while she bent over watching his feet.   It took me a moment to recognize that she was trying to match her dad’s walking, stride for stride.  First of all, Rob is a tall man.  Secondly, he has a long stride and third, he is a really fast walker.  I often struggle sticking with him myself.  That day no matter how hard she tried, Lane had a hard time keeping up with her dad, but that didn’t keep her from wanting to do it and from trying her hardest.

Here we are at the Grand Canyon.  Pictures really don't do it justice.

A few years ago I was in a doctor’s office with nothing to do and saw a magazine and on the outside was the teaser, “In the ever-growing age of single moms, Why Kids Need Dads!”   It really interested me so I grabbed the magazine and read the article.  In the article they explained that Moms help us to learn our boundaries.  They teach us our limitations, where and when to cross the street: how to eat, dress, and act properly.  Moms help us know how to live in the world around us, where our boundaries are.  That is helpful and we need our mothers.  Dads, on the other hand, help us learn to go beyond our natural limitations to break our boundaries and go farther than what we are capable of to become more.   I know everyone’s experience is different but that really rang true in my life. 

• ·      Because my dad drug me onto Space Mountain kicking and screaming when I was 7 years old, I now LOVE roller coasters. 
• ·      Because I would sit and listen to my dad’s stories of adventures on scout hikes I love the outdoors and am not afraid to get a little dirty trying something new. 
• ·      Because my dad hired me to work summers for him when I was fourteen I learned to balance a checkbook. 
• ·      Because my dad took me to San Diego and told me that I had to at least try shrimp while I was looking at the ocean I gained a love for seafood. 
• ·      Because my dad asked me my opinion and valued my answer it made me really think about what my opinion is. 
• ·      Because my dad took me driving on the freeway when I was sixteen I can now drive almost anywhere without a worry.   
• ·      Because my dad was nice to my mom and to us kids and was always willing to do what is right I wanted to marry someone who was just like him.

This is my dad and me hiking at Lake Powell

My dad helped me experience, do and become more than I would have without him. Because of the gentle and sometimes not so gentle urging of my dad I know how it feels to be completely afraid of something and do it anyway.  So many of the things I love are because my dad pushed me to try it.

Our Father in Heaven helps us to grow in a lot the same way.  Through sometimes gentle and other times not so gentle ways our Heavenly Father urges us to become more than we are naturally. 

Mosiah 3:19

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

Sometimes it is through loss that our Heavenly Father pushes us toward new things; whether it is the loss of a job, a loved one, an ability, a home, or so many other things.  The loss of something important, something that we depend on, something that we think we can’t live without causes us to step beyond our natural man.  

When my mother-in-law died unexpectedly almost 9 years ago, she was the glue that held the family together.  She was the one who played with the grandkids, the one that called us on the phone to share family news, the one who remembered birthdays and Christmas and the one who came to babysit so we could go on a vacation just the two of us.  When she died my sweet father-in-law grew.  He didn’t fill the space she left behind but he filled his own space better.  He learned to communicate better with his kids and to play with his grandkids.  He even remembered Christmas and birthdays in his own way.  Grandma’s way was to always be shopping for good deals.  When it was your birthday she would go to her magic closet and find what she thought you would like and send a package in the mail.  Grandpa’s way is to send a check once a year and let the parents get a present from Grandpa.  It works.  The kids know their Grandpa thought of them and loves them.  Because of the loss of my mother-in-law we have more of my father-in-law.  It was hard and scary and really quite painful at times but through that loss he become more than he would have without it. 

My Father-in-law, Ellis Matthews.  Isn't he handsome?  Rob is going to look just like him!

Sometimes it is through a gain that our Heavenly Father pushes us toward new talents and abilities.  Things like having a baby, giving a talk in sacrament meeting or a lesson, or gaining a new responsibility.  We are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for.  Our Heavenly Father knows what we can do and often he pushes us kicking and screaming to become more than our natural man.

When you are small there is no one cooler than your dad, no one stronger, no one braver and no one that can fix things better.  No wonder we all want so much to be like our dads.  I think about Lane trying to walk like her dad.  There is no way her little legs would be able to do what his legs were doing.  But just wanting to be like her dad is lengthening her stride to be more than she is.

So to all the dads out there, thank you for pushing us beyond our boundaries and helping us find new limitations and do things that we are afraid of.  I don’t think it is easy to be a good father.  Often they have to step-in when no one else can find a solution.  For that I am so thankful.   

Lane and Rob jumping off of the houseboat.  Can't you just see the fear in her eyes?

My dad and brother, Taylor, creating an amazing gate for our backyard